If I hear one more middle aged white person tell me how good I have it because I was born in the 90s, I’m going to literally barf so hard … Continue reading Tell Me More About How Much You Hate Millennials, You Old Fart
I am writing today, with random unnecessary commas, to voice my concern and outrage over the increasing rich people that go jogging at 6am that the city is faced with. … Continue reading An Open Letter to L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti and Police Chief Charlie Beck
Girl on top? Excuse me, I signed up for sex, not CrossFit. My legs look and feel like two Twinkies that melted together so the only way I can pull … Continue reading 8 Sexual Positions for Underachievers
If there is no advice on how to make myself look inoffensive to society because my baseline is already disgusting to the world, then do I just curl up into a ball and die?
This Adorable Little Girl is So Brave Because If I Had Her Life I Would Have Already Offed Myself Wait Until You See Where Your Favorite Child Stars’ Missing Limbs … Continue reading 9 Clickbait Headlines for the Soul (You Won’t Believe Number 7!)
I am absolutely flattered that your company has invited me over to meet the entire staff for my third interview, even though being in this stifling office makes me want … Continue reading Please Give Me This Horrible Soul-Sucking Job