This Adorable Little Girl is So Brave Because If I Had Her Life I Would Have Already Offed Myself

Wait Until You See Where Your Favorite Child Stars’ Missing Limbs Are Now

Ten Ways to Finger Your Own Ass (Number Six Made My Wife Leave Me)

Watch What Happens When a Wall Street Analyst Begins Treating His Cleaning Lady Like She’s a Person

This Popular Hardcore Drug That Rhymes With “Track Tocaine” Might Be Making You Sick

This Man Morphed Into a Giant Reptilian Creature for His Wife’s Birthday. What Happened Next Will Make You Want to Fuck a Lizard

How to Teach Yourself to Pass as a Human and Not Three Dogs in a Trenchcoat

Ten Things Foot Fetishists Do Before 6am Every Morning

INSANE Video Shot at Local Church (Skip to 2:17, That’s When the Dogs Start Fucking)

I’ve been thinking it would be fun to come up with clickbait headlines as a writing exercise every now and again for the part of my soul that’s dead. Apparently this week’s theme is animals. What headlines are floating around in your head?