Move over Richard and Mildred Loving, we’ve got a new pair of star-crossed lovers to celebrate! Local circlejerker Derek UpperDecker just made waves on Instagram by posting an image of his curvy but in a good way (don’t say fat!!! NOBODY SAY FAT!) wife with the most loving caption. As a matter of fact, he posts about her curves all [...]
It’s common to hear about child stars that became famous before they were ten years old and end up spreadeagled in front of a Hollywood nightclub a decade later, cameras shoved in their faces, bleached hair extensions clinging to them for dear life. Breakdowns and hot messes are so common that when a child star [...]
Help me out here, internet. I just called a grotesque lump of Play-Doh “beautiful” and she didn’t give me head. I don’t know what to do! I am such a good person. I mean, holy shit. I’m a saint! I just told this totally ugly fat chick that she’s beautiful. I’m totally getting into heaven. So why [...]
If there is no advice on how to make myself look inoffensive to society because my baseline is already disgusting to the world, then do I just curl up into a ball and die?