Earlier today, the board of directors of The Weinstein Company released a statement announcing that they have fired Harvey Weinstein, primarily because now his misconduct is, like, a whole thing. Here is the statement in full: “In light of new information about misconduct by Harvey Weinstein that has emerged in the past few days but … Continue reading Company Fires Guy Who They’ve Been Protecting Until It Was, Like, Not Cool Anymore
Move over Richard and Mildred Loving, we’ve got a new pair of star-crossed lovers to celebrate! Local circlejerker Derek UpperDecker just made waves on Instagram by posting an image of his curvy but in a good way (don’t say fat!!! NOBODY SAY FAT!) wife with the most loving caption. As a matter of fact, he posts about her curves all … Continue reading INCREDIBLE: Heroic Man Is Brave Enough to Love His Curvy Wife
LOS ANGELES, CA — Local woman Ellie Guzman was observed this Friday nodding and smiling as her friends judged her life choices. Shortly thereafter, she received a call from the mayor’s office offering her the Key to the City for astounding bravery. “It’s so crazy,” said Ellie’s friend from college Jenny, dabbing at a single tear. “Ellie’s bravery is insane. … Continue reading Brave Woman Smiles and Nods As Her Personal Choices Are Criticized
Hey you! Yes you! Life got you down? Thinking of doing a tequila enema?Threw your phone off a freeway bridge in an effort to avoid texting your ex, hit a police car’s windshield by accident, and now you can’t make bail? Does the metal underwire in your bra keep poking out and stabbing you in the armpit? It’s … Continue reading How to Be an Excellent Hot Mess in Three Easy Steps!
I’m overweight and I’m fat. It’s not a secret and I find it liberating to say (Your Fat Friend sums it up better than I ever could here). I’m currently at the biggest I’ve ever been, and it took me a lot of hard work to get here. I had an eating disorder growing up, … Continue reading The Balancing Act of Trying to Lose Weight While Recovering From an Eating Disorder
Good women: intelligent. Virtuous. Feminine but not to a frivolous degree; well-manicured but would never own Hello Kitty pens and does not read gossip magazines. Loyal to her man. Goes to church, probably. In charge, but not too in charge. Bad women: stupid. Sleeps with whoever she wants; unlikely she’s in a committed relationship. Highly … Continue reading On Smart, Virtuous, Good Women Versus Dumb, Sexual, Bad Women